How Coaching Deepens Relationships | ep186
Have you ever been listening to someone and realized that you have no idea what they’re saying because you’re thinking of what you’re going to make for dinner?
Or, have you ever been in conversation and zoned out because you figured out the perfect response and were just waiting for your turn to speak?
Because I certainly know I have.
Listening is such an integral part of being in relationship with others. There’s nothing like the feeling of being seen, heard and understood by someone else. Yet, I don’t think it happens as often as we would like.
And as much as we crave being listened to fully, I think we’re also guilty of not doing the same for others.
Before we dive in…
Applications for the next cohort of the Wholehearted Life Coaching Certification will open in the Spring
If you’ve ever dreamed of coaching others towards a life they truly love and doing so with so much care, skill, and ethics, this is the opportunity for you, love.
If you’d love to learn more, just head to wholeheartedcertification.com/programs.
Our next cohort begins Fall 2024 and applications will open in the Spring (and the waitlist gets early access!)
I used to think I was a good listener.
But when I look back, I realize that wasn’t really listening.
I was listening and waiting for my turn to speak.
I was listening to answer or to solve.
I was listening and thinking of all the things on my to-do list.
So while I was present for the conversations I was having with my loved ones, I wasn’t really present. My spirit and mind were elsewhere.
It wasn’t until I did my coaching certification that I learned how to actually listen.
I learned how to be present.
I learned how to not get caught up in my own inner dialogue
I learned how to listen to not just what was being said, but also what was not being said.
I want to share 3 transformational life coach tools I learned in my coaching certification that have not only made me a better listener, but also a better person to be in relationship with:
Presence
Listening is about our presence and we can’t be present for others if we aren’t first present for ourselves. Meaning, that if we're not taking care of ourselves, then we can’t truly be there for our people.
This is why morning rituals are so important, they allow us to first tend to ourselves so that we can then tend to the people we love. (In coaching we call this our coaching ritual- the practices we use for ourselves to be of service to others). Your morning ritual doesn't have to be long, create a series of practices like meditation, movement, or journaling, that allow you to feel centered and grounded.
Awareness
When you find yourself going down a thought rabbit hole when in conversation, acknowledge it for yourself (internally), and if you can, release it. Let it know that you will come back to this line of thought later.
What's not being said?
When listening to others, become aware of their nonverbal language. Does their tone or energy change when they talk about certain things?
Notice when they sigh, go hmmmm or do a big release of breath.
Cue into their body as they talk. Does it close, open, shift or change as they express their thoughts?
Becoming aware of what's not being said, will allow you to connect more deeply to others.
This week, I encourage you to try these ideas out and see what shifts.
Tune into the podcast to hear the full episode — 186 | How Coaching Deepens Relationships
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About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.