4 Tips to Navigate Big Life Changes | ep167
Making a big life change is scary.
Maybe you’re thinking of changing careers, moving to another country, or having some really important conversations in your relationships. No matter what, if we truly want to create our dream lives, then change and transition is inevitable.
So today, I’m sharing 4 grounding truths you need to remember to make navigating those big life changes a little less scary and a whole lot easier to embrace.
Before we dive in, I have a quick announcement!
I truly believe coaching is one of THE MOST powerful modalities to help facilitate change and transformation. When I was introduced to it, it completely changed my life.
But I know there are also some pretty big problems in the coaching world today.
There are negative stereotypes attached to “coach” and “coaching,” some of us have experienced pretty harmful practices, sleazy sales techniques, and grand promises, but love — that’s not what coaching really is.
This is why I created my 3-day workshop, Decolonized Coaching.
What we’ve come to know as “coaching” today is really a watered-down, toxic version of a centuries-old transformative modality. Coaches have always existed across all cultures and it’s time to bring back the sould and reclaim the true magic and essence of coaching.
If you’re ready to learn how to become a heart-centered coach, join me in Decolonized Coaching. We begin October 22nd.
Click here to learn more.
Let’s get into today’s topic.
I have navigated my way through many life transitions and pivots, learned a thing or two, and I’ve helped thousands of folks do the same.
I know how scary these changes can be, but I also know how necessary they are. One thing I’ve learned about transitions and change is that they don’t stop.
If we truly want to create our dream lives, then that means that change is inevitable and our lives should change as we change.
As you navigate these big life changes, transitions, and pivots, my hope is that these 4 truths will help to make those a lot easier to embrace.
Truth #1: Changing course is NOT failure. It’s the ultimate sign of success.
One of the biggest lies we have been told is “You have to finish what you start.”
We live in a society that applauds finishing and we’ve been conditioned to believe that finishing and succeeding are one and the same. But love, should you always finish what you start?
Here’s the thing, we always know when we need to make a change. When we need to shift, when we need to pivot, our bodies, our minds, and our spirits know. And they let us know.
Whether it is a feeling in our bodies or a voice inside, they let us know. Then, we try to logic our way out of this wisdom.
We try to logic our way into staying even when everything in us is saying “no.”
Truth #2: You’re gonna be sad.
Often when you are making big transitions and decisions in your life, there will be a moment of grief. That doesn’t mean that this decision isn’t the right choice for you.
So often we think sadness means we have to hold on to something and we’re not doing the right thing. This happens a lot in personal relationships like when you break up with a person. Even though you know it’s the right thing for you, you are so incredibly sad and you decide to get back together with that person. We’ve all been there, love
But what we must know is that sadness doesn’t mean you are doing the wrong thing. It just means we are letting go of a very important part of our lives.
You can have something that’s very meaningful AND it’s also not meant for you in the next chapter of your life. It can be both, love.
Changes and pivots will often feel bittersweet. There is this sense of sadness and grief mixed with excitement and possibility. That is absolutely ok. You’re human, love.
Whenever I feel this, I love to do a letter writing exercise.
I will write two letters: one to a past verision of myself and one to my future self. I thank my past self who was so excited about this thing and poured so much of themselves into this. I express so much gratitude and love. Then, I thank my future self, the one who made this decision and took the steps toward this other dream. I also let them know my worries and fears.
I find these letters help me embody all of the feelings that come along with a big life change.
Truth #3: What you have done before is NOT a waste.
When we are about to make a big change in our lives, we can get so judgemental of ourselves.
We think things like:
“Oh, I can’t believe you spent the last 10 years of your life in this relationship.”
“I can’t believe you spent all this time building this career…”
“Why did I do this?”
“I have no ‘real’ skills to help me in this next step.”
Love, you need to understand that none of what you have done is a waste. In some way, everything you have done will play a part in your future dream.
In 4 Big Myths about Life Coaching, I shared how I transitioned from being an opera singer into the coach that I am today. If I were to create a LinkedIn or a resume of the skills I was bringing over, they wouldn’t make any sense! But everyday, I use so many of the skills I developed throughout that career.
Although I’m not singing on a stage, I’m often expressing my voice on this podcast or on stages as a speaker. Every day, I used my people skills, my creativity, my ability to improvise in my coaching career.
You won’t uncover how your skills will play a part, you will discover it, love. You will use skills in different ways and it will amaze you.
So, step out of the same and judgement spiral and understand that nothing you have done is a waste. Everything will inform, enhance, amplify everything you are about to do in this next decision.
Truth #4: Only share your decision with those you know will support you.
This is a difficult one. We want to share our excitement, our worries, our thoughts with those around us, but not everyone can share in our excitement. Most people are too scared to make pivots and changes in their lives and what unfortunately happens is they will project their own fears onto you.
It’s not that they don’t support you. It’s just that they can’t separate that part of themselves that’s so scared of big changes.
This is especially important when you are at the beginning of your decision or change. At this point, you’re like a little doe just getting its legs. You aren’t grounded in the decisions just yet. So, you need to be around people that will support you and help you stay up when your legs get shaky.
When I first decided to transition from opera singer into a life coach, I only told about 3 people. These were folks I knew would really support me even if they didn’t fully understand what I was about to do. But, they knew me so well, they believed in me, and they had also figured out their own stuff so when I shared my big decision, they were able to support me in their groundedness.
So love, be discerning and take really good care of yourself in the early stages. Also know that this is such a courageous thing to even consider pivoting, changing, and shifting in your life.
There you have it, 4 tips to help you navigate and embrace those big life changes. If my story has resonated with you and you’ve found yourself considering becoming a coach or you’re a coach who would love to lead from your business in a heart-centered decolonized way, join me in my upcoming workshop, Decolonized Coaching — a FREE 3-day event where you’ll learn all about heart-centered coaching from a decolonized lens.
We start on October 22nd. Click here to learn more.
Tune into this week’s podcast episode — 167 | 4 Tips to Navigate Big Life Changes — to hear the full conversation.
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About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.