Why We Procrastinate (and How to Take Action) | ep162
How can I stop procrastinating? Does procrastination mean I’m lazy?
If you’ve ever asked yourself any of these questions, then today’s podcast episode is just for you, love. If you’re a part of the Wholehearted Community or if you just found your way here, I’m pretty sure you are one big dreamer, just like me. In episode 160 | Big Announcement, I shared one of my biggest dreams to date: the creation of my coaching certification program!
If you’re anything like me, love, then you may have had a pretty big dream of your own and found yourself delaying, stalling, and procrastinating on bringing it to life. So, today, I want to share with you the top 5 reasons I’ve found that we procrastinate and how to overcome that procrastination and take action.
But, before we dive in, I have a quick announcement!
As we’re moving into a new season, this may feel like a natural time to go inward and focus on what is going on internally. In support of this natural shift, I am offering a week-long masterclass called Coming Home
Consider this a gentle little kickstart to taking care of you again. During this experience, you’ll join me for 3 live masterclasses where we will look at how we can come back to the most true versions of ourselves. You’ll walk away with new tools and ideas to help you navigate your own self-growth journey. We begin September 17th and you can sign up here or by clicking “Save Your Spot Now” below.
Let’s get into today’s topic.
This week’s Mindset Monday reads:
Procrastination isn’t a character flaw.
It’s either wisdom or fear.
A few years ago, I had this BIG dream that I was so excited about. But, even so, I just kept delaying. So this is my very own procrastination story.
As I often say, I am in this thing with you, love. That means that the things I share with and teach you are things I am learning and have learned on my own.
What I’m sharing today are the top 5 reasons I’ve found that we delay on doing things that we really, REALLY want to do in our lives.
Reason #1: Our first reason starts with a question: Do I actually want to do this thing?
So often, we’re holding onto dreams and goals that aren’t ours. They’re someone else’s dreams that have been given to us. This can be your parents, society, anyone else outside of yourself. So, when we go after these dreams, we actually procrastinate because deep down, we don’t actually want this thing.
Oftentimes, we start to feel we’re being lazy. But, you aren’t lazy, love. You’re actually being so incredibly wise because a part of you knows this thing is not truly what you want to do.
When you find yourself procrastinating on a big dream, ask yourself: Do I actually want to achieve this goal or dream?
Reason #2: Do I have the capacity to do this right now
When we procrastinate, it’s either because of wisdom or fear. Our procrastination is usually protecting us from ourselves. Maybe we need to postpone this start date or expand the timeline. Our inner knowing wants to make sure we are thriving, not just surviving.
Saying “no” to something you deeply want to do is you taking care of what’s most important: you.
It just means that now may not be the right time.
When I first began dreaming up my coaching certification, I asked myself, “Do I have the capacity to do this right now?”
And guess what? The answer was no.
At the time, I was running multiple programs, it was right at the height of the pandemic, and I was also trying to plan a wedding (one I’d rescheduled 3 times — you can hear more about that here). So, yeah. I did not have the bandwidth to embark on this huge dream. I knew if I did, I would simply burnout and possibly never come back to it.
With my question answered, I then sat down and looked at my future calendars and planned out time to actually work on this dream.
But, honestly, I still delayed! And I’ll tell you it’s because of the next 3 reasons.
Reason #3: Fear. Maybe you’re just scared.
Fear is something we all face each and every day.
It shows up in ways we wouldn’t categorize as fear:
procrastination
self-doubt
second guessing ourselves
resistance
Whenever we find ourselves resisting soemthing (especially something important or that means a lot to us), it’s simply because of fear. But often, we don’t see it that way. We see these actions as character traits.
We begin to label them as flaws and claim them as parts of our identities. But love, they’re just coping mechanisms for the fear.
You’re not a procrastinator. You’re just scared.
You’re not lacking in skill or capability. You’re just scared.
You’re not lazy. You are just scared, love.
These coping mechanisms and “flaws” are the best way you know how to deal with being scared.
I procrastinated on my dream because I was afraid of failing, of making a mistake.
The amount you want to do something will equal the amount of fear you will have doing it.
If you are a dreamer, then you need to learn to change your relationshp with fear because it’s not going anywhere. It will always be a part of the journey. There is no amount of success or accomplishments that will make you immune to fear.
Reason #4: Perfectionism (because we think there is a “perfect” way to do everything)
We all have a common belief: that if I do this thing perfectly, I won’t fail. Because I care so much, I have to do it perfectly.
Here’s what I’m saying to you and myself:
There is no perfect way to do this thing.
There is no perfect way to start the journey.
I want you to try this exercise:
Go to the social media page or podcast of someone you truly admire.
Go to their first posts (or episodes) and tell me what you see.
You’ll most likely notice that those very first moments on their journey were far from “perfect.”
Seriously. If you go to my very first podcast episode, it’s not perfect. The audio is much different than my audio now. I was doing all of the editing and promotion myself. But, if I waited on “perfect,” I would never have gotten where I am today. I would have never gotten who I am out there, letting people get to know me.
And that’s what people want from you, love: you.
Nobody wants your perfect. They just want you and your magic the way only you can give it.
Reason #5: You are thinking of the How
Usually when we first think of a dream or goal, we get SUPER excited. We think of that dream/goal in it’s fullest form!
Then, we eventually step into a case of “The How’s.”
How am I going to do this?
How am I going to start?
How am I going to get a following?
How am I actually going to get an ICF accredited coaching certification??
This is what happens to so many of us and it happens SO often! We get super excited and then we try to figure it all out before we even get started. The problem with that is we’re starting from the end goal and reverse-engineering something we’ve never done before.
But the truth is, we won’t know “how” to do a thing until we actually do the thing.
We can only take a few steps at a time and most times, we think of step 100 when all we need to focus on are steps 1 and 2.
When it comes to “The How’s,” I want you to keep that excitement. I want you to have that grand vision in your mind. However, I want you to also understnd where you are on your map. What is the next step that feels best? What feels right to you in this moment?
When you break it down in this way, it doesn’t sound sexy, ok? Because you’re taking these really small steps, but it truly is the way to our biggest dreams and goals without getting overwhelmed by the grand vision.
So love, whenever you find yourself procrastinating, go through these 5 reasons to figure out what your inner knowing really trying to tell you.
Tune into this week’s podcast episode — 162 | Why We Procrastinate (and How to Take Action) — to hear the rest of this conversation.
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About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.